I suggested that recanting his previous testimony – because let's face it, he's so low-grade I'm certain he made most of it up – and copping a plea to clear his daughter would be in his long-term best interests."Simpkins turned to Wells."Have you spoken truly to the DA's office?" she asked.Wells hedged his bets."What I said was the truth to the best of my knowledge," he stated.I laughed."You couldn't find your ass with both hands and a road map," I declared. "The defense attorney is going to rip you to shreds on cross-examination and Baker, if he is still alive, will pull his immunity deal when he finds out you lied. Lauren is the one who is gonna suffer for your stupidity." Well, you'll suffer, too," I said as I opened up the folder to a particularly gruesome crime scene. The man had been dismembered with a significant portion of his appendages removed while he was still alive. "But your suffering will end quickly enough – a week or two at the outside. Lauren could wind up spending. So I’m bent over the table, as a good waitress should be, and my boss is just staring at me. When I saw him, he had this stressed-out and stunned look on his face. He gestured to his office and then ran inside.I figured that he wanted to praise me about how great of a job I always do so I move to the music and go inside and close the door.“What’s up, Bill?”“Kryssi,” he says. “I saw you out there and I need to ask. Why are you all wet? Are you wearing any underwear?”“No,” I told him. “Ricky bumped into me from behind and I got soaked. I didn’t want my dress to get stained because, like you always say, we’re responsible for them. So I washed it out in the bathroom, but my bra and panties were soaked so I washed them and hung them up to dry.”I lifted the skirt part, which is pretty short anyway, to show him. As soon as I did that he gasped like he was having a heart attack. So I do what any good heroic person would do. I ran over to him to give him mouth to mouth. I mean I’ve read that.
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